The Grace in My Tears

Written By: Dr. Kitsy Dixon

Read Psalm 23

 

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

- Psalm 34:4 (NIV)

I could not understand why he no longer felt loving feelings towards me. His coldness came overnight, and just like that he was done with our relationship. He walked away as I cried. For weeks, I wrote to acquire what had happened, if we could fix it, what could I do better. He never responded. 

The valley of no response is a barren and lonely road filled with failed expectations, wailing tears, and a valley of dry broken hearts. It is a hopeless place without any resources and guidance. As I sat in this valley, I started to cry out my tears to God instead of the unanswered text messages I was sending the ghost of my ex. I began to notice that with each tear I shed, I sang a verse of 'Amazing Grace.' 

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch life me. I once was lost, but now I'm found. Was blind, but now I see.

For many of us, it's the familiar hymn we grew up with in church, but in moments of low valleys it is a powerful sword of holiness. It reminds us that God's amazing grace falls with each tear of despair to remind us that in our deepest sorrows, grace and mercy will find us. A few weeks later, I realized that I had spent more time growing stronger in Christ instead of crying over a failed relationship. Those tears turned into the joy of Christ, and my heartbreak turned into the reminder that although I had not received the answers to the 'why;' in Christ I did not need an answer because I was given something no man could ever give me: AMAZING GRACE.

Thought For The Week

Life may not always give us answers or an apology.

But God will always give us grace and mercy.

Prayer: Gracious Father, hold tightly those women whose hearts are shattered in the valley of no closure. Redeem their hearts in the amazing grace of your unfailing love and compassion. Amen.

Prayer Focus: Women recovering from addictions brought on by painful heartaches.

 

Your Season Is Biblical

Written By: Dr. Kitsy Dixon

Read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

 

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet he did not sin.

- Hebrews 4:15 (NIV)

It took years before I realized that my heartache was a season ordained for me to grow closer to God. With each heartbreak, I would place my focus on restoring relationships that God was telling me were out of my season, out of His will, and not ordained for my calling in His ministry. As I cried through heartbreak after heartbreak, I finally realized that I was in a season of emotional pain and more so, my season was biblical. 

I meditated upon the season of heartbreak and pain that the woman with an issue of blood had endured. Scripture tells us that she sought out remedies, doctors, opinions, and loneliness for 18 years. Upon hearing that a man named Jesus was coming, she proclaimed that IF ONLY she could touch the hem of His garment, her season of heartbreak would turn into reaping seasons of praise, healing and restoration. 

Once I began to see my hurt as a season to draw closer to God, I began to seek the hem of His garment instead of focusing on what I wanted my relationships to look like. In our season of hurt, God is calling us into relationships with Him first and foremost. If we cannot grow in our relationship with Christ, then how can we expect Christ to grow in our man-made relationships? I now sit in my season with a little more patience because I know that in this season, Christ desires to know me, to communicate with me, to restore me, and to love me beyond my scars. I do not know how long my season of singleness will last, but I do know that this season will end, and I will rejoice in joy that I waited upon the wings of the Lord. 

Thought for the Week

A season in Christ will produce perseverance; whereas a season in self will produce only destruction. 

Prayer: God, in this season of many emotions for the heartbroken woman, may we find solace in your unending love. May we arise from our season, of pain, to be healed by the holiness of your touch, and the fortitude of the promises in your word - you will never leave nor forsake us. Amen. 

Prayer Focus: Women in the season of heartbreak, loneliness, complications, complexities, and lack of peace.